Today I want to touch on the experience of having our hearts broken - the wretchedness of abandonment and betrayals, the disappointment of sad mistakes and regrets, et cetera. Do we honestly remember how bad and lonely it feels? The kind of bitterness and anger that we mentally subject ourselves to in that journey carries so much poison that it manifests in everything else we do. Instead of getting rid off those memories, we tend to carry that great baggage of past hurts like it was the most precious things to us - bringing them into our daily life and scaring people away with it. On the outset, people continue to judge us and see only the ugliness, not immediately identifying our pain through thoughtful compassion.
Everybody hurts and everybody has feelings. Just as everybody is special, we are also all the same in the goals of achieving happiness. Of course, the difference lies in values and what we see for ourselves. What makes people go against one another are selfish thoughts. It leads us to distrust and many other ugly things. Being self-cherishing, we are not able to hand others the benefit of a doubt, our compassion. What is compassion though? We all know how badly we can behave when we are facing some adversities in our personal lives. Understanding our own suffering and what it does to us, and extending that understanding to others.
Taking it easy on the office bitch despite how antagonizing she is trying to be, by measuring up an ounce of realization that she might be suffering inside - instead of getting into a conflict with her and making life worse for everyone, that could be a form of compassion and also a decision of wisdom. This is just an example of how we could practice to control our mind from letting loose a barrage of mental bullets that can only turn into harmful habituation.
It sounds stupid but people who has experienced having their hearts broken are lucky to have gained a realization. If someone were to tell me that in the midst of hurting very badly, I would become very hateful. Of course we all know how it feels and would never wish for someone we love to go through it. In that same way, we could extend that wish towards others and stretch our compassion to a new milestone. A higher form of compassion would be not wanting that for our enemies either. That would be a spiritual attainment and in it, we can find happiness and inner peace.
If you have broken dreams, pick up the pieces and rebuild it on different terms later. Incubate it so when the time is ripe, it could become very useful. Be generous even at your most poorly moments, any pauper could still afford a smile. Meanwhile continue to make life worth living for others so that joy can manifest around you even if misery fills you up inside.
Be loving to your own family and forget all the past grief by applying compassion. Ask for forgiveness where you are wrong and arrest all harmful behavior. When anger arises within us, patience is a good and useful antidote, it makes life more beautiful if we could master that. Acting on self-defense often attract more trouble than it is worth. It never did bring us any good.
Many disasters are going on at the same time in the world right now, if we could only reflect upon that. Parents who have lost their children, families who are buried under earthquakes and the likes. Just pick a griefing mother to think about, she is walking around with an injury in her heart invisible to outsiders' eyes. Try to superimpose her pain on every office bitch you meet (excuse the pun, it is metaphorical), you might find it easier to forgive someone who looks unforgivable to you at first. Things could improve for the better if you are nice to someone like that for a change.
Having grace amidst all adversities, it is easier for people to believe that there are indeed angels on earth working towards beauty and miracles.
As the muslims and the jews are celebrating their festivities, let's take this opportunity to embrace harmony in our community and join them in joy. Great time to practice forgiveness and enhance our wisdom in compassion.
